06-15-2023, 08:08 PM
I am a woman in her early 50s. I met my boyfriend 13 years ago online. We met in person over 4 years ago and have been together ever since.
He is not legally married
last month he finally left her ( they have no kids I have no kids)
He told me every day how much he loved me and made me promise that we would never break up
We have matching rings ( he still wears his and I mine)
He sat down on web cam with my father and said he loved me more than anything and that he would '' work hard every day of his life'' to make me happy
He lived here 7 days and then moved back in with her ( she asked him to, he didn't call her)
She has ordered him no contact
72 hours later he calls me
5 days after he moves out he comes to visit, then I see him for lunch. He finds a way to contact me every day.
He was here yesterday for a few hours. ( its only been about 2 1/2 weeks - moved in on ** and out on **)
He said he cant imagine his life without me in it.
I told him I'm not going anywhere until he looks me in the eyes and says he does not love me and never wants to see me again.
We are a poly couple. I knew he had another GF that he met in person 4 years before me. He broke up with her too.
Only he keeps coming back to me, saying how much he loves me, kissing me, then saying he has to '' work '' on his (fake) marriage.
His sister is keeping an empty room for him for when it blows up that he has a place to go. He has my key back and its more of a hassle, but I don't understand. Why did he make me promise forever , every day he lived here. He just came home from work and said movers were coming. We never fight, we are best friends, sex- best of my life ( him too)
He said its not fair that we didn't meet when we were younger. He says he wishes he was married to me.
Her 1st husband left her for another woman.
Her friends and family know his job knows, I'm not a secret anymore.
If she discovers he is seeing me its DONE.
Why would he risk it being over forever with her just to see me 3 days after being told No Contact???
He literally called me the first time she wasn't looking.
She doesn't know about the other woman ( and men - he is bisexual, and although she has been with woman she finds bisexual men gross ) One review of his phone bill, one unblocking of his iphone ( which you can see deleted texts for up to 30 days) and he's done.
His concerns are money. He has no right to anything due to no legal marriage. He had a time in foster care as a child so being broke is a large phobia ( pre Covid I made 12k a month, thanks to Covid I struggle with 3500 a month - not related to illness but professional climate )
She makes more money than I do. Also my father is dying of kidney failure and when he goes I will have a few hundred thousand dollars.
He says she is having anxiety attacks and if he is listening to music she wants to know if that was a song we listened to together, she knows he is in love with me, and she asks him stuff and he wont answer which I think will only increase her anxiety and paranoia.
Statistically due to the time of the affair and other factors they have less than a 10% chance of making it.
Please people, I've never needed advice so much in my life.
Edited by Mod Team for TMI (too much information)
He is not legally married
last month he finally left her ( they have no kids I have no kids)
He told me every day how much he loved me and made me promise that we would never break up
We have matching rings ( he still wears his and I mine)
He sat down on web cam with my father and said he loved me more than anything and that he would '' work hard every day of his life'' to make me happy
He lived here 7 days and then moved back in with her ( she asked him to, he didn't call her)
She has ordered him no contact
72 hours later he calls me
5 days after he moves out he comes to visit, then I see him for lunch. He finds a way to contact me every day.
He was here yesterday for a few hours. ( its only been about 2 1/2 weeks - moved in on ** and out on **)
He said he cant imagine his life without me in it.
I told him I'm not going anywhere until he looks me in the eyes and says he does not love me and never wants to see me again.
We are a poly couple. I knew he had another GF that he met in person 4 years before me. He broke up with her too.
Only he keeps coming back to me, saying how much he loves me, kissing me, then saying he has to '' work '' on his (fake) marriage.
His sister is keeping an empty room for him for when it blows up that he has a place to go. He has my key back and its more of a hassle, but I don't understand. Why did he make me promise forever , every day he lived here. He just came home from work and said movers were coming. We never fight, we are best friends, sex- best of my life ( him too)
He said its not fair that we didn't meet when we were younger. He says he wishes he was married to me.
Her 1st husband left her for another woman.
Her friends and family know his job knows, I'm not a secret anymore.
If she discovers he is seeing me its DONE.
Why would he risk it being over forever with her just to see me 3 days after being told No Contact???
He literally called me the first time she wasn't looking.
She doesn't know about the other woman ( and men - he is bisexual, and although she has been with woman she finds bisexual men gross ) One review of his phone bill, one unblocking of his iphone ( which you can see deleted texts for up to 30 days) and he's done.
His concerns are money. He has no right to anything due to no legal marriage. He had a time in foster care as a child so being broke is a large phobia ( pre Covid I made 12k a month, thanks to Covid I struggle with 3500 a month - not related to illness but professional climate )
She makes more money than I do. Also my father is dying of kidney failure and when he goes I will have a few hundred thousand dollars.
He says she is having anxiety attacks and if he is listening to music she wants to know if that was a song we listened to together, she knows he is in love with me, and she asks him stuff and he wont answer which I think will only increase her anxiety and paranoia.
Statistically due to the time of the affair and other factors they have less than a 10% chance of making it.
Please people, I've never needed advice so much in my life.
Edited by Mod Team for TMI (too much information)
