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Hi, I’m Jasmine. I have been seeing a MM for almost 4 years. We are deeply in love and it’s been difficult to open up to anyone because of the stigma that people give to MM because they assume everyone is after a PR and not ER. He absolutely hates that he is ch---ing but is so committed to his family (I get the irony but hopefully you will all understand where he’s coming from) that he won’t ever leave them. He was in the RAF for 27 years and he feels indebted to his wife for holding it all together and raising his children to become beautiful adults that any parent would be proud of. I admire him for this, although I don’t like it of course.
He is my KISA, he literally saved my life and helped me see that I could be a better person.
Adding to this we have a D/s dynamic (please don’t judge me - I get it’s not for everybody but it works for us). We have such a deep connection because of it and when we are out together people admire how happy we are and can see it a mile off.
His 30 year anniversary is next month, just a week after our 4th. Despite our incredible relationship, I am worried about how to get through this. He’s not been away with her apart from weekend breaks 2/3 times, but if this results in a proper holiday etc I don’t know how to handle it. I have no right at all to be upset, but I know I don’t have to be happy about it either.
Sorry for rambling. That’s us in a nutshell really.
***edit*** also to add, my ‘friends’ took it upon themselves just a year into our EMR to tell his wife what was going on. That was almost 3 years ago. We went brief NC but it was just too hard for us both. They claimed they did it ‘for me’. Needless to say we are not friends anymore.
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Welcome, Jasmine.
You've found a non-judgmental group. We understand what you're feeling and what you're going through.
There is another member here that had a d/s EMR. Hopefully she will chime in soon.
It is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply.
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Hi Jasmine and welcome .
I was involved with mm for 8 yrs and we had a d/s relationship about midway through our emr. We are no longer involved with each other, it's been a yr since I said I no longer can do this.
The d/s was very emotional for me. I believe he was a seasoned Dom but I didn't see it as he was a good D. He was controlling and that isn't how a D should be.
It is hard when they go away and do the family thing.
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Thank you ?
I have felt that I’ve hit the ‘I can’t do this anymore’ point a few times but he really is an amazing man and the best DDom. I found it difficult to relate to people or explain the depth of our relationship because the D/s stuff adds a layer than non D/s people struggle to comprehend, which I understand of course but it doesn’t help when trying to explain.
I’m glad you moved on for your sake, yes Dom doesn’t mean controlling. It’s a power EXCHANGE, not one sided. Many Doms forget that sadly.
We began seeing each other 6 months before covid hit so we haven’t had to face family holidays for him until now. I just gotta keep talking to him and trust him that he will make it as painless as he can. He’s dreading it as he says it feels like he’s ch---ing on me when they do stuff together. I’ve reassured him he isn’t, and though I’m not happy about it, I want him to at least try and enjoy it, if not for his sake, then for the kids.
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TYSM. I cannot begin to explain the relief of finding this group. X
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I'm glad you have found us. We here at TS are very non judgemental.
It's always nice to find that there are others who can relate and listen.
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Welcome, don't ever feel that way for loving somebody. Not many understand love to this degree.
I'd feel the same way coming around a big milestone. I did every single year their 9/10/11/12. I know he's crazy for her and does amazing stuff for her I applaud that
But it doesn't change the fact it hurts to love someone and they share big moments in their life with another. I do hope you get through it and he doesn't do anything out of the ordinary that will cause pain to you
Just my opinion 5 years or 50 if I'm not happy I'm not happy I do not care what she would've done for our kids . There comes a point we need for ourself. You can be a good parent but not a good lover for one another and we deserve it
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Your old friends suck. But you have new friends now, better friends.
No regrets
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(08-13-2023, 02:57 PM)Harlow Wrote: Your old friends suck. But you have new friends now, better friends.
Haha yes they do! Thank you so much!
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i hear you with the pain of when they celebrate these big occasions with their spouse. it really hurts especially when you know if you do celebrate your occasions it is never to the same level. sending hugs. and yes i agree you have better friends here now!
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(08-14-2023, 04:36 PM)nattyz123 Wrote: i hear you with the pain of when they celebrate these big occasions with their spouse. it really hurts especially when you know if you do celebrate your occasions it is never to the same level. sending hugs. and yes i agree you have better friends here now!
I know it’s not my problem but I feel bad for him too. He truly does just go through the motions with it all. We are going to a football game together on Friday and I cannot wait to spend that time with him. It’s a passion we share so it will be lovely to spend that time before all the madness begins!
