So very painful

[Whatwhatwhat]

Hi,

I am having such a hard time posting this. I never wanted to be in a position like this. I never wanted it to end like this. I feel eviscerated. 

I know I need to heal. I can't heal if I wait for someone who is not willing to live in a way that can create possibility for us.  
I feel gutted. I feel so gutted that the fear is greater than his desire to build with me. 

I am suffering so much. I am suffering so much.

[Sandy]

Keep posting. We can try to help you through this.

And you're 100% right be in pain and to not understand his decision.