Struggling

[Nobody]

Hey. Long time lurker, but been too nervous to join properly before now. Been in an emr for over 2 years and it’s really hard. Not being able to talk about my worries and insecurities is so hard, so really glad I found this site.

[Mypetsprincess]

Hey. Long time lurker, but been too nervous to join properly before now. Been in an emr for over 2 years and it’s really hard. Not being able to talk about my worries and insecurities is so hard, so really glad I found this site.

Welcome! In my case, the first five years were the hardest, but also the most exciting. We eventually found our groove and carried on for another ten years. I found it helped that we were both married and I knew I had no plans or desires to leave my marriage. We were also long distance, so there was no expectation of when we'd be able to see each other.

[Brigit]

Welcome! In my case, the first five years were the hardest, but also the most exciting. We eventually found our groove and carried on for another ten years. I found it helped that we were both married and I knew I had no plans or desires to leave my marriage. We were also long distance, so there was no expectation of when we'd be able to see each other.

Wow, what happened?

[Nobody]

Welcome! In my case, the first five years were the hardest, but also the most exciting. We eventually found our groove and carried on for another ten years. I found it helped that we were both married and I knew I had no plans or desires to leave my marriage. We were also long distance, so there was no expectation of when we'd be able to see each other.

Thank you. I’m newly divorced, but he is married and his job is super demanding. We send messages daily, and he calls when he can, so we have a routine, which is reassuring, but some days are definitely harder than others.

[Brigit]

Hi Nobody, can you say more about your situation and why you are feeling insecure? 

My advice is to keep busy and not spend time focusing on him when you’re not together or hearing from him. It really helps a lot.

[Nobody]

Hi Nobody, can you say more about your situation and why you are feeling insecure? 

My advice is to keep busy and not spend time focusing on him when you’re not together or hearing from him. It really helps a lot.

Sorry for the delay in replying, I left a long marriage that I didn’t realise was emotionally abusive, but it’s left me with feelings of insecurity. I have bipolar disorder, so my days are up and down anyway, but essentially, a failed suicide attempt made me realise I had to go.  Ive tried to make a life for myself back in my home town and succeeded……on paper, my life looks good. In reality, I’m struggling. It’s the first time I’ve ever had to live by myself and deal with the realities of real life, learning how to cook, for instance as I wasn’t allowed in the kitchen. So trying to balance being self employed with learning how to live is hard.

[AbbieP71]

Being on your own for the first time can be daunting. But it can be exciting as well. For the first time your place is your own. Decorate the way you want. Eat when you want. Stay in your jammies all day on the weekend if you want. 

When I very started my EMR I was living with someone but it was ending. After I broke it off and was alone it was strange. My MM and I hadn't really talked about what we were doing and where it was going. We had a D-Day and he thought he was ready to leave and be with me. Thats a long story but ultimately it didn't happen. I had to work at making friends with single people again but I did it and it was a really great time in my life (other than the EMR really which gave me alot of anxiety now that I look back on it) but it was very freeing. 

Do you have friends that you hang out with? A close friend to confide in? I actually got really close with someone I met on a place like this. We never met in person bc we lived far away but we talked daily. It was probably one of the best things to come out of my EMR lol. How ironic but true. She got it as she was in the same situation and it was nice to have someone to talk to about it. She has since passed and I miss her terribly but am glad I got to know her.

[Nobody]

Being on your own for the first time can be daunting. But it can be exciting as well. For the first time your place is your own. Decorate the way you want. Eat when you want. Stay in your jammies all day on the weekend if you want. 

When I very started my EMR I was living with someone but it was ending. After I broke it off and was alone it was strange. My MM and I hadn't really talked about what we were doing and where it was going. We had a D-Day and he thought he was ready to leave and be with me. Thats a long story but ultimately it didn't happen. I had to work at making friends with single people again but I did it and it was a really great time in my life (other than the EMR really which gave me alot of anxiety now that I look back on it) but it was very freeing. 

Do you have friends that you hang out with? A close friend to confide in? I actually got really close with someone I met on a place like this. We never met in person bc we lived far away but we talked daily. It was probably one of the best things to come out of my EMR lol. How ironic but true. She got it as she was in the same situation and it was nice to have someone to talk to about it. She has since passed and I miss her terribly but am glad I got to know her.

Thank you for replying so quickly. I’m so sorry that your friend passed, but I’m glad you had someone who understood what you were going through. I have friends, but only one who knows the situation, but I don’t think she understands how hard it is sometimes.