02-25-2025, 06:27 PM
Hi,
My story is pretty complicated. Let me just give some basics. I married a narc, had two children with him, and finally left him after experiencing a lot of emotional abuse. I worked and raised my kids with no financial help from him. At some point I fell in love with an alcoholic, and decided I simply can't do men. I make such bad choices.
I went 20 years without a man. I focused on my kids, my creative projects, and my career.
Then I retired, left the US, and moved to Europe completely on my own. I I couldn't afford to retire in the US, and I was tired. Suddenly, here, much younger men were flirting with me, asking me out, etc. I was floored. I was in my 60s. I had a fling with an Italian guy when I first came here, and that was fun.
Then I moved to a very small village, and a married man 20 years younger than me literally began "courting" me. We talked all the time, he did a million favors for me, and was just so kind and caring. We fell into an emotional affair that was overwhelming to me. After a full year of getting to know and care about each other, it became physical. It took me a long time to realize he is on the spectrum. That brought a whole other realm of challenges beyond his marriage.
Ultimately, I care about him deeply, and I feel like this is the last love I'll ever know. Given that he is autistic and I feel like this is my swan song, I give him a LOT of latitude. Our non-verbal communication is off the charts, and I have always been a strong non-verbal communicator. Meeting him has been like finding my twin in a lot of ways.
I have no desire for him to leave his wife. He is too young, and he clearly needs a partner, so I think it would be criminal if I allowed him to leave her. I have never even mentioned it to him.
I just want to go on like this forever, but it is often very hurtful, and I often feel a lot of guilt over it. I haven't told any of my friends about him because there is too much gossip and judgment going on among them, so I really need a place to turn to for an outlet. I am in therapy, but I know my therapist is sick of hearing about my "affair."
Thanks so much for reading!
My story is pretty complicated. Let me just give some basics. I married a narc, had two children with him, and finally left him after experiencing a lot of emotional abuse. I worked and raised my kids with no financial help from him. At some point I fell in love with an alcoholic, and decided I simply can't do men. I make such bad choices.
I went 20 years without a man. I focused on my kids, my creative projects, and my career.
Then I retired, left the US, and moved to Europe completely on my own. I I couldn't afford to retire in the US, and I was tired. Suddenly, here, much younger men were flirting with me, asking me out, etc. I was floored. I was in my 60s. I had a fling with an Italian guy when I first came here, and that was fun.
Then I moved to a very small village, and a married man 20 years younger than me literally began "courting" me. We talked all the time, he did a million favors for me, and was just so kind and caring. We fell into an emotional affair that was overwhelming to me. After a full year of getting to know and care about each other, it became physical. It took me a long time to realize he is on the spectrum. That brought a whole other realm of challenges beyond his marriage.
Ultimately, I care about him deeply, and I feel like this is the last love I'll ever know. Given that he is autistic and I feel like this is my swan song, I give him a LOT of latitude. Our non-verbal communication is off the charts, and I have always been a strong non-verbal communicator. Meeting him has been like finding my twin in a lot of ways.
I have no desire for him to leave his wife. He is too young, and he clearly needs a partner, so I think it would be criminal if I allowed him to leave her. I have never even mentioned it to him.
I just want to go on like this forever, but it is often very hurtful, and I often feel a lot of guilt over it. I haven't told any of my friends about him because there is too much gossip and judgment going on among them, so I really need a place to turn to for an outlet. I am in therapy, but I know my therapist is sick of hearing about my "affair."
Thanks so much for reading!
