04-28-2013, 06:03 AM
Most people agree that loving a married person is hard. It's even harder if they are married to someone else. Few people choose to fall in love with someone who is married to someone else, and when it happens, most people hope that the affair phase will be short-lived, and that their married lover will resolve the impasse one way or another with speed and delicacy. Sadly, this is seldom the case, and most "other women" and "other men" struggle to adjust to a situation they do not feel entirely comfortable with.
Most (but not all) "other women" and "other men" want the married person to leave their marriage and commit to an exclusive, full-time relationship with them. In the meantime, especially if they love the married person, they agree to remain in the affair because "half a loaf is better than no bread", making the best of it and enjoying the benefits of being in a loving relationship with the one they love, while dealing as best they can with the constraints and limitations that being in an affair may bring for them.
These vary from situation to situation and couple to couple, but often include at least some of the following:
We've all been there, and done that. Some of us are still doing it. We know how hard it can be when it's going badly, and how great it can be when it's going well. We all have different stories to tell and we believe that by sharing our experiences, we can help each other to find what works best for ourselves, so that we can all get a "happy ending", whatever that might look like in anyone's particular case. We do not push people to choose one way or another, or bully them into accepting a "party line", because we know everyone's answers will be different. We try to help each other find our own answers, sharing experiences, knowledge we've gleaned along the way, laughter, sorrows and virtual cupcakes.
Welcome to our forum - we hope you will find a safe and supportive space here to share your story, your tears, your joys and your hopes and fears, with others who have been (or still are) where you are, to make your journey easier, and less lonely.
Most (but not all) "other women" and "other men" want the married person to leave their marriage and commit to an exclusive, full-time relationship with them. In the meantime, especially if they love the married person, they agree to remain in the affair because "half a loaf is better than no bread", making the best of it and enjoying the benefits of being in a loving relationship with the one they love, while dealing as best they can with the constraints and limitations that being in an affair may bring for them.
These vary from situation to situation and couple to couple, but often include at least some of the following:
- Not having as much access to their lover as they would like
- Knowing that their lover is committed to someone else
- Not being able to phone or visit their lover whenever they want
- Not being part of all aspects of their lover's life, like, not meeting family and friends, not accompanying them to important events, not visiting them at their home
- Worrying that something may happen to them, and not being able to know
- Knowing they share a bed with someone else
- Spending holidays, weekends or important events like birthdays without them
- Seeing photos of them with their spouse on Facebook
- Etc
We've all been there, and done that. Some of us are still doing it. We know how hard it can be when it's going badly, and how great it can be when it's going well. We all have different stories to tell and we believe that by sharing our experiences, we can help each other to find what works best for ourselves, so that we can all get a "happy ending", whatever that might look like in anyone's particular case. We do not push people to choose one way or another, or bully them into accepting a "party line", because we know everyone's answers will be different. We try to help each other find our own answers, sharing experiences, knowledge we've gleaned along the way, laughter, sorrows and virtual cupcakes.
Welcome to our forum - we hope you will find a safe and supportive space here to share your story, your tears, your joys and your hopes and fears, with others who have been (or still are) where you are, to make your journey easier, and less lonely.
