08-14-2013, 02:20 PM
There are all kinds of married men and women who are having an extramarital relationship. Some are having an affair for the first time, some are serial ch----rs. For some it is a drunken fling, for others a way to have a sexual outlet when sex is no longer available in the marital home for a flora of reasons. For others it's become a long term relationship that runs parallel to the marriage.
For other women/other men who find themselves in an extramarital relationship where their needs are not being sufficiently met and who feel they are losing more than they are gaining from the relationship, it can be tempting to vilify the married person in an attempt to break out of the extramarital relationship by replacing love with hate. This is however very self-destructive and will likely turn into bitterness which eats away at you instead of helping you to heal.
Sure, just like among single people, there are scumbags among married people too. But most people in extramarital relationships are merely people like you and I who are struggling in everyday life doing the best they can.
Realizing that the relationship was not for us but refusing to become a victim and instead taking responsibility for our part in agreeing to and maintaining the relationship makes it easier to move on. We do not get stuck in bitterness. We grieve and then we move on. We own our history.
For other women/other men who find themselves in an extramarital relationship where their needs are not being sufficiently met and who feel they are losing more than they are gaining from the relationship, it can be tempting to vilify the married person in an attempt to break out of the extramarital relationship by replacing love with hate. This is however very self-destructive and will likely turn into bitterness which eats away at you instead of helping you to heal.
Sure, just like among single people, there are scumbags among married people too. But most people in extramarital relationships are merely people like you and I who are struggling in everyday life doing the best they can.
Realizing that the relationship was not for us but refusing to become a victim and instead taking responsibility for our part in agreeing to and maintaining the relationship makes it easier to move on. We do not get stuck in bitterness. We grieve and then we move on. We own our history.
