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Threads: 1
Joined: Jul 2023
Hello,
I have been in an EMR with the same man twice. In 2010 for 2 years while I was married and starting again in 2021. I divorced in 2012. He stayed. This morning I took the step to ask him where things were going and he said he can’t see himself leaving his marriage anytime soon.
I am devastated and I feel so alone because there is no one I can talk to about being the AP.
We’ve known each other (and loved each other) since high school but the timing has never worked out. If he loves me as much as he says, why can’t he work with me to make it work. There are kids, financial complications. I feel like I made a huge mistake. All I can do is cry. Wondering if what I had was better than not having him at all.
Posts: 3,053
Threads: 112
Joined: Apr 2018
(07-01-2023, 06:22 PM)EllieJN Wrote: Hello,
I have been in an EMR with the same man twice. In 2010 for 2 years while I was married and starting again in 2021. I divorced in 2012. He stayed. This morning I took the step to ask him where things were going and he said he can’t see himself leaving his marriage anytime soon.
I am devastated and I feel so alone because there is no one I can talk to about being the AP.
We’ve known each other (and loved each other) since high school but the timing has never worked out. If he loves me as much as he says, why can’t he work with me to make it work. There are kids, financial complications. I feel like I made a huge mistake. All I can do is cry. Wondering if what I had was better than not having him at all.
Hi and welcome.
Sorry you are feeling so down. I am wondering if he ever promised you he would leave his wife?
Ourania.
Posts: 22,586
Threads: 337
Joined: Oct 2011
(07-01-2023, 06:22 PM)EllieJN Wrote: Hello,
I have been in an EMR with the same man twice. In 2010 for 2 years while I was married and starting again in 2021. I divorced in 2012. He stayed. This morning I took the step to ask him where things were going and he said he can’t see himself leaving his marriage anytime soon.
I am devastated and I feel so alone because there is no one I can talk to about being the AP.
We’ve known each other (and loved each other) since high school but the timing has never worked out. If he loves me as much as he says, why can’t he work with me to make it work. There are kids, financial complications. I feel like I made a huge mistake. All I can do is cry. Wondering if what I had was better than not having him at all.
Hi and
If you had stayed with your H, what would the quality of your life be like? I mean WRT love, passion, and overall fulfillment, not just basic needs.
This is why we often suggest leaving for yourself, not your AP. I too left after falling in love with my MM, but I also left my H for a better frame of mind. A healthier me meant a healthier mother to my children who had all seen enough.
Keep posting, and we will keep supporting.
No regrets
Posts: 10,653
Threads: 116
Joined: Feb 2014
Welcome to the forum, Ellie. Glad you found us.
It is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply.
