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Here you can discuss various topics concerning being in an extramarital relationship:

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Contemplate the pros and cons of your relationship
Understand common patterns in extramarital relationships
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#1
Hello, 
I am an OW and yesterday my MM spouse found out about the affair; I am in turmoil not knowing what is happening. ?
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#2
Welcome

We are many here who have gone through Ddays. It’s a difficult time, especially since the MM usually becomes very fixated on the marriage for some time. Try to just stay steady in the boat, this too will pass.
Lance  Heart  Gwen
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#3
DDay is damage control usually. One thing I learned is if there's no sudden plan for MM to leave. He needs some sort of ease at home during this time at least to figure it out for the future of leaving or staying.

Hang tight and welcome
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#4
hey, and welcome. DDay is rough and i wouldn't wish the stress of it on anybody. when my MW got caught it was a partial discovery and i was mostly in the dark for a few weeks - very little communication from her. when she would reach out, it was a lot of ambivalence. her feelings for me are still strong, but our relationship has certainly changed. it had to. this was three months ago now, and it's still messy figuring out what we are and where this might be going. she says her marriage has recovered, but i'm not so sure. there are certainly signs that BH doesn't trust her like he used to. neither do i, but we work on it when we can.

if i have any advice for you, it's to focus on your feelings for each other and try to remember that everyone involved in this is probably extremely stressed out. people tend to communicate suboptimally when they're stressed out, so you might get mixed messages. keep yourself busy, and if you find it helpful to share and talk, we're here for you.

best of luck.
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#5
Welcome to TS. Many of us have been thru Ddays tho they are all different depending on circumstances. You will find support here for sure. How long have you guys been together? Had you ever discussed what would happen if this happened? If so and it's not going exactly how you expected don't be too surprised. Hopefully you will hear from your MM soon. How long has it been since this happened?
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#6
Welcome.  Lots of support here.   Heart
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Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this website are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local emergency number or a counselor nearby.

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