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Never thought I'd be here
#1
This is my intro post:  I've known my AP for 4+ years now and we've been involved for about a year now.  We also work together which makes it extra complicated.  We love each other dearly.  He has 2 teenage kids and this is the main reason he hasn't left yet.  He hasn't been happy for many years, in fact neither of them have been especially happy - but she won't let him go.  They don't have sex and he's not in love with her.  

He told her last year that he wants to leave but she refuses to agree to doing so amicably, and he's worried about what impact a non-amicable separation would do to his kids.  We haven't had sex as that is the one boundary we committed to upholding.  I have also convinced him to go through marriage counselling with his wife to see if there is any hope of them fixing their relationship.  They're currently going through this process and we'll see what happens.  We've put a 3-month time limit on this and we'll see where we're at after this.

I never thought I'd find myself in this situation, in a million years.  I only have a couple of very close girlfriends that I can talk to, and they are trying to be supportive but they don't love any of this - and I don't blame them at all.
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#2
Welcome!  The place is a bit quiet but there are many who will identify with at least some parts of your story! 

I find the parts where you’re encouraging him to work it out to be so very giving and loving and I can see some parallels with my OMM. We are not planning to leave our families and as a result the whole thing is an exercise in constantly balancing responsibility, desires, feelings (which are like locked puppies waiting to get out), and so on…
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#3
Not sure how to tag people here but @rozay (see thread in Transitions “I thought time would be on our side” and earlier threads) may have a few relevant thoughts to offer…
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#4
(06-06-2026, 11:03 AM)LoverGirly Wrote: I never thought I'd find myself in this situation, in a million years.  I only have a couple of very close girlfriends that I can talk to, and they are trying to be supportive but they don't love any of this - and I don't blame them at all.

I have not been active for a few months but came back on.  This is a very supportive environment.  Are you in love with this man?
It's probably a good idea not to be intimate so you clarify for yourself your own feelings, and how to respond if the fellow does not leave his spouse.
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