just joined...

[Stacy]

Hello, 

I am feeling a lot of happiness in stumbling across this on-line support group while wandering through the digital wilderness this evening.

I have been the "other woman" in a very loving relationship with a married man for over 5 years now.

As I am sure anyone reading this knows, it is a journey that is nigh impossible to relay to anyone not undertaking the same challenging path.

I look forward to sharing in the devastating heartache as well as the bountiful joy of this journey with kindred souls.

Sincerely -
Stacy

[JustHer]

Hi Stacy and welcome. 

You’re dead right, it is a unique journey.

[Stacy]

Hi Stacy and welcome. 

You’re dead right, it is a unique journey.

Thank you so very much!

Next week is his birthday, and he has family coming into town.  So, of course, the pain of going into hiding and the struggle to ward off all those negative thoughts and feelings will hang like an albatross around my neck.

You would think that after this much time I would be used to it...but that just never quite happens.

So - buckle up, bear down, remember all the goodness and love that has sustained us this long and just get through it.

Thanks so much again, JustHer, for your welcome!

[AbbieP71]

Welcome Stacy! So glad you found TS! It's always nice to be able to chat with people who can relate to what's going on. I may have missed it but are you also married or single? Just curious!

[Stacy]

Welcome Stacy! So glad you found TS! It's always nice to be able to chat with people who can relate to what's going on. I may have missed it but are you also married or single? Just curious!

Hi, Abbie...

I am single.

When we first started seeing one another I was living with a man (but not married.)  But, now I live on my own.

The back story is pretty dense with twists and turns (I'm sure that's the case for most folks in this situation).  But, I have been living on my own now for a couple of years.

Thank you for reaching out!

[AbbieP71]

Hi, Abbie...

I am single.

When we first started seeing one another I was living with a man (but not married.)  But, now I live on my own.

The back story is pretty dense with twists and turns (I'm sure that's the case for most folks in this situation).  But, I have been living on my own now for a couple of years.

Thank you for reaching out!

I too am single. Lots of twists and turns. My MM and I went NC for about 3 years and are now back together for the last 4ish years. I love him a lot but it definitely is hard.

[Stacy]

Hi, Abbie...

I am really amazed by the span of the NC time you all had - and then to come back together!

Was the NC a mutual agreement?  Or, did logistics simply make it impossible to continue for a time?

My guy's wife has serious mental illness.  I was also a caregiver at the time we met, and that was the common bond of our initial communications.  

There was a time when it seemed as if there might be a path forward for us as his sister-in-law was looking to move in and take over care giving responsibilities.  But, then her husband became very ill, and all forward movement for the two of us came to a grinding halt.

Even though it continues to be so very difficult and painful at times, I understand his situation and don't think I would do differently if I were in his shoes.

I struggle, from time-to-time, with people in my life telling me that "If he really wanted to, he would build a life with you." But, a life for us together would be so weighted down by what he would have to do to continue insuring her care.  I really don't want any part of it.

Anyway...the love and relationship continues to grow despite the obstacles, but the hurt and heartache are a constant as well.

Despite it all, I feel (as my mom would say) "blessed" by this relationship and this man in my life

[Emilia]

Welcome, Stacy. We’ve all been through the vacations, special celebrations, and periods of LC, so you’ve come to the right place for support.

[Stacy]

Welcome, Stacy.  We’ve all been through the vacations, special celebrations, and periods of LC, so you’ve come to the right place for support.

Thank you so much, Emilia!

[Foreternity]

Welcome

The emotions run deep being "alone" no time together in bed when your sick and hurt. The holidays alone as they celebrate in your eyes happily without you.

The less I know and believe I always felt better.

It did become more difficult when I left XBW . Not hearing my kids laughs and living alone 70% of the time

But you do what's best for you 

It didn't take my 5 years just under 2 to make that jump

Stay strong and hope for what you want the most 

Sending love