08-19-2023, 01:31 PM
Hi thanks for this space. I was the other woman in an emr and I had attempted to form a polyamorous set up from the beginning, so I never wanted to be the side chick. But that is what happened. We ended it because he told his wife about it and she did not want polyamory after the betrayal or even at all, and he chose her. He always expressed to me that he wouldn’t leave his wife, so it’s never been a surprise. But the lying to me was. He had been telling me that he was working on opening the marriage throughout our relationship. I continuously pushed him to have those conversations and asked for updates, but they were not even happening. So when he told her and she found out the extent of the affair, it was really traumatic for her. I guess he had also been neglecting that relationship and also his relationship with his kid. His kid apparently had overheard him on the phone with me as well, and had experienced trauma from knowing he was ch---ing on their mom. Kid was 14 at the time. So yeah it’s been over for over a year but he and I still work together sometimes and our work is very stressful so I end up relying on him emotionally, which is triggering. I feel like either I’m this terrible person in his life or he’s being terrible to me. I am trying to invest in relationships that are positive and reciprocal and healthy, but it’s hard because no one can show up for me in my work the way he can. My work is intimately tied to my identity, so there’s been a big gap there and I don’t know how to solve for it right now. I’m going to go see a music showcase that he’s apart of later today. A friend of mine is also apart of it so I’m not just going for him. But his wife’s gonna be there and you know she hates me so I’m just reaching out for support. Thanks again. And this is just the jist of the story. I’m sure more will be revealed.
