I'm glad I found this place.

[Nica]

I've been looking for a place where I can talk about what happens in this relationship.  I can't talk with family or friends about it. Thanks for being here.

I'm the OW. My partner is a MM. We met over a decade ago online for a completely different mutual interest and been together ever since.

There are struggles, but the happy times outweigh any grief or worry. I'm not in a perfect relationship but it's lasted this long so something is working.

Lately I'm feeling the OW troubles. I'm not important,  I can be dropped like a hot potato at any time, etc. I'll post in other threads about it.

Anyway, glad to be here.

[Gwen]

You've come to the right place.

As long as the good outweighs the bad, it's all worth it IMO.

[Nica]

You've come to the right place.

As long as the good outweighs the bad, it's all worth it IMO.

Thanks Gwen. This is the best and most healthy relationship I've had. So yeah, it's worth it.

[Harlow]

I felt that way too about my EMR, that it was the healthiest and safest place to be. Glad you found us!

[Sandrine]

Lately I'm feeling the OW troubles. I'm not important,  I can be dropped like a hot potato at any time, etc. I'll post in other threads about it.

Anyway, glad to be here.

Hello and welcome, I am newish here too.  It's good to be in a safe space

[JustHer]

Hi and welcome. 

You’ve found your place here.

[Foreternity]

Your feelings are so understandable trust me. Sending strength through your time of uncertainty

[Nica]

I felt that way too about my EMR, that it was the healthiest and safest place to be. Glad you found us!

Thanks Harlow, glad to have found this place.

[Nica]

Your feelings are so understandable trust me. Sending strength through your time of uncertainty

Thank you!

[Nica]

Hi and welcome. 

You’ve found your place here.

Indeed, I feel I have. Thanks

[Nica]

Hello and welcome, I am newish here too.  It's good to be in a safe space

Thanks!

[Stacy]

So appreciated (and relate to) your post...

That feeling of being so vulnerable to "being dropped by a hot potato" for the life that is already established and in full swing for him is something I know very well.  And, to be honest, as much as my MM tries (bless his heart), I just don't think they can truly understand what it is like to walk the path I (you) travel.

But I think you are correct..the longevity and the goodness that the relationship still embodies is testament that something is, most certainly, right for the two of you!

These situations require a kind of work and dedication, I think, not found in traditional situations - but in return offer a unique joy and unbridled happiness that most folks never experience.

Hold steady!

[Foreternity]

You may feel it's easy to be dropped as a hot potato. Or that you have to try even harder and suck it up to prove your love and worth.

Holidays are always the hardest for me. A day like today mother's day

I never found it easy of the thought dropping MW so easily, if I was ever to get found by XBW I'd just admit to everything and allow her to be happy. 

Even if I lost both women in the process, their happiness is important

If the love is there, they will always come back

[Foreternity]

Another thing.. as much as you love them, willing to drop the world to be there for them. Dont expect the same

I learned this saying, being the man in the shadows I know more than the man in the light.
I quit asking questions I expect everytime she's out he's there, especially holidays. Valentines, anniversaries, mother's day you name it.

I expect when she says goodnight , she's still awake which sometimes she is, they spend some time together. She sleeps a lot on weekends 

I found doing all of this, it makes me appreciate the very minimal I'm given, sex, time you name it.

Don't hurt yourself devoting all you have for somebody and they don't see it the way you do. Being the OM/OW is extremely difficult when you don't see a future. Remember most follow anything in life hope and faith.

The biggest fear we all have is the unknown, example death what happens next.

You will thrive with knowing less believe me