Posts: 1
Threads: 1
Joined: May 2023
I am married and had a FWB (friend with benefits) who is married. We saw each other for the past year. He just ended it two weeks ago after struggling with his guilt because we have feelings for each other. I was hurt, shocked, upset, etc. Hr didn't tell me he had feelings until I dragged it out of him a few months ago. We never had a talk about keeping our feelings in check during our situation. He wants to be friends, which means still emailing me every day. I joke about him getting over his feelings so we can "have the benefits" again. I feel broken inside. My marriage is not great (for me anyway), so the attention and sex was amazing. Now, I feel thrown away and useless because of "feelings". I feel like I did something to wrong him. It's his 3rd time ch---ing, and I'm sure it won't be his last. I just feel like a fool. It wasn't like I expected him to leave his wife.
Posts: 10,653
Threads: 116
Joined: Feb 2014
Welcome to the forum, Littlecutie6.
I'm sorry you are going through this upsetting situation.
It is both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply.
Posts: 14
Threads: 2
Joined: Apr 2023
(05-04-2023, 09:58 PM)Littlecutie6 Wrote: I am married and had a FWB (friend with benefits) who is married. We saw each other for the past year. He just ended it two weeks ago after struggling with his guilt because we have feelings for each other. I was hurt, shocked, upset, etc. Hr didn't tell me he had feelings until I dragged it out of him a few months ago. We never had a talk about keeping our feelings in check during our situation. He wants to be friends, which means still emailing me every day. I joke about him getting over his feelings so we can "have the benefits" again. I feel broken inside. My marriage is not great (for me anyway), so the attention and sex was amazing. Now, I feel thrown away and useless because of "feelings". I feel like I did something to wrong him. It's his 3rd time ch---ing, and I'm sure it won't be his last. I just feel like a fool. It wasn't like I expected him to leave his wife.
If there is space for you to remember the good times, cherish those. It sux and hurts like hell. I hope time heals these wounds for you.
Posts: 558
Threads: 27
Joined: Mar 2023
It is much harder when the marriage at home isn't great. Trust me, I've been there. If you do have feelings for him, it's likely best to pull back for now, as keeping up daily contact will hurt more. Perhaps in time you can be "just friends". It sounds like your MM is scared of how he feels about you. In any case, staying busy and reaching out to other friends will distract you from thinking of him. If you didn't think he would leave his BW for you, what were you hoping for?
Posts: 3,842
Threads: 103
Joined: Feb 2020
Hi and welcome.
Your situation sounds like mine. But we are LD.
We however had had the talk that we were not leaving our BP’s that was never our end game.
We were work buddies,(different companies but tied together) then very good friends, then a physical couple, then feelings, then guilt.
Our R changed and may be over - it’s a long story.
You have to work out what you want, and if he can’t give it too you are you willing to accept less? I thought I could and did, then didn’t.
It’s a rocky road, but we are here for you.
Funny how a fantasy can end up as a tragedy
