Posts: 2
Threads: 0
Joined: Jan 2026
Hi my name is Catherine. I’ve been involved with my MM for two years now. We’re both happy in our marriages and our relationship is mostly meant to provide the kind of sexual passion that fades in a long term marriage. Before him, I had a 2 year relationship with another MM that was abusive and I struggled to end it.
I’ve been married to my husband for 27 years, he knows that I’m not capable of being monogamous for the past four years - he mostly accepts and doesn’t want to know too much details. We have a deep companionship and from my part I don’t feel the need to hide, we regularly discuss the situation. I think we both agree that having my sexuality kept alive in this way brings also us some needed spark and energy, however we also feel this is not an ideal way but without it we might struggle perhaps even more in a different way.
We married young, so my lifetime experience with men boils down to my marriage and these two MM.
I joined here mostly because sometimes I have conflicting feelings about being involved in these somewhat unconventional relationships to both my MM and to my husband (and some fear about the abusive ex MM lurking in the past). I get comfort knowing that there are other women with similar issues that arise from being involved with a MM, especially since the first relationship turned toxic and sometimes I fear he will find a way again to manipulate me. He does still try every now and then. So I need to keep reading the experiences of others in similar situations.
Posts: 149
Threads: 7
Joined: Aug 2022
(01-11-2026, 01:15 PM)Catherine Wrote: Hi my name is Catherine. I’ve been involved with my MM for two years now. We’re both happy in our marriages and our relationship is mostly meant to provide the kind of sexual passion that fades in a long term marriage. Before him, I had a 2 year relationship with another MM that was abusive and I struggled to end it.
I’ve been married to my husband for 27 years, he knows that I’m not capable of being monogamous for the past four years - he mostly accepts and doesn’t want to know too much details. We have a deep companionship and from my part I don’t feel the need to hide, we regularly discuss the situation. I think we both agree that having my sexuality kept alive in this way brings also us some needed spark and energy, however we also feel this is not an ideal way but without it we might struggle perhaps even more in a different way.
We married young, so my lifetime experience with men boils down to my marriage and these two MM.
I joined here mostly because sometimes I have conflicting feelings about being involved in these somewhat unconventional relationships to both my MM and to my husband (and some fear about the abusive ex MM lurking in the past). I get comfort knowing that there are other women with similar issues that arise from being involved with a MM, especially since the first relationship turned toxic and sometimes I fear he will find a way again to manipulate me. He does still try every now and then. So I need to keep reading the experiences of others in similar situations.
Glad you ended the abusive, toxic R in the past. Can you block that guy? And welcome to the site!
Posts: 6
Threads: 3
Joined: Feb 2019
I’ve been with MM for near 8 years. It’s been a stressful time for me at times balanced by some of the most incredible experiences.
We spend time together nearly every day.
He is M and I am D. I was M when we met but D not long after.
It was never meant to be something we felll in love in.
He’s had years of loyalty to the commitment he made but he has fallen out of love with BW
At first I didn’t believe him or his love for me
As years have gone on I see his love for me in unquestionable
We both have children and this makes things complex
Our story is changing again.
Prior user name: metamorphasing
Posts: 491
Threads: 10
Joined: Aug 2024
(01-12-2026, 05:59 AM)lost2019 Wrote: I’ve been with MM for near 8 years. It’s been a stressful time for me at times balanced by some of the most incredible experiences.
We spend time together nearly every day.
He is M and I am D. I was M when we met but D not long after.
It was never meant to be something we felll in love in.
He’s had years of loyalty to the commitment he made but he has fallen out of love with BW
At first I didn’t believe him or his love for me
As years have gone on I see his love for me in unquestionable
We both have children and this makes things complex
Our story is changing again.
Welcome! I think you will find a number of people in a very similar situation here. I look forward to hearing more of your story.
Posts: 2
Threads: 0
Joined: Jan 2026
(01-11-2026, 08:20 PM)Virginia Wrote: Glad you ended the abusive, toxic R in the past. Can you block that guy? And welcome to the site!
Thanks! I don’t think that blocking helps as it would cause my mind to be even more focused on him in some ways. And obviously there is always a way for him to reach me in some way. Nowadays I very rarely even think of him anymore and my current relationship is very satisfying and going strong, so that and time without contact and without thinking of him should do away with his ability to manipulate me anymore.
It was truly eye-opening to realize that there are people who derive pleasure and validation for their ego through playing with the entire mind and passion of another person.
The silver lining is I found my current MM and he has been such a source of pleasure and joy!
Posts: 149
Threads: 7
Joined: Aug 2022
(01-13-2026, 04:13 PM)Catherine Wrote: Thanks! I don’t think that blocking helps as it would cause my mind to be even more focused on him in some ways. And obviously there is always a way for him to reach me in some way. Nowadays I very rarely even think of him anymore and my current relationship is very satisfying and going strong, so that and time without contact and without thinking of him should do away with his ability to manipulate me anymore.
It was truly eye-opening to realize that there are people who derive pleasure and validation for their ego through playing with the entire mind and passion of another person.
The silver lining is I found my current MM and he has been such a source of pleasure and joy!
Blocking was just an idea, of course it's always up to you. It's great things are better for you nowadays...
Posts: 1
Threads: 0
Joined: Mar 2026
Hi! I’m new here, but really looking forward to talking about my situation and hearing other people situations I’ve been in an extra marital affair for three months now I am currently single, but the man is married. I have a lot of mixed feelings around it all, so it would be wonderful to hear other people stories
Posts: 3
Threads: 0
Joined: Jan 2025
(03-27-2026, 05:49 PM)Cloverabroad Wrote: Hi! I’m new here, but really looking forward to talking about my situation and hearing other people situations I’ve been in an extra marital affair for three months now I am currently single, but the man is married. I have a lot of mixed feelings around it all, so it would be wonderful to hear other people stories
Hi Clover,
Spend some time reading stories like yours here. Although they are different, they are also remarkably the same. They have a single person and a married person and that person's spouse.
Best wishes.
Posts: 1
Threads: 0
Joined: Apr 2026
I'm glad I found this place, and looking to hear others' experiences.
I'm a single person in an emotional, text-based relationship with someone who claims to be dissatisfied in their marriage. I have no reason to doubt this person's truthfulness. Some of my friends say that this person has already proven their willingness to lie just by talking to me. But this is exactly the kind of advice I'm _not_ looking for.
I also know this particular situation is finite, but it has developed - in only a month - to something that I'm going to have a hard time leaving. I'm not currently looking, but am open to finding a local relationship of my own, that has some kind of indication of a future.
With this other person, they've already admitted they don't see themselves leaving their spouse. Despite the downsides of feeling alone and unloved, I guess the upsides outweigh that. And honestly, I'm not sure if _I'd_ even want that! Some days I'm convinced this is temporary, and other days, my stupid heart says the only thing missing is me planning a trip to their state.
Again, a month is nothing. This isn't sustainable. I'm not deluding myself. Well, not completely. But my heart is loving all of these feelings, and I just want to hear from people who've been here. And that's so hard to find elsewhere online.
Thanks for listening. And thanks for creating this community!
