woman

[meyou1111888]

I was used by a married man 40 years older man in a relationship for 8 years and a half. It would be good to get connected to others and share my story.

[Harlow]

I was used by a married man 40 years older man in a relationship for 8 years and a half. It would be good to get connected to others and share my story.

Hello and welcome.

I have questions, such as how do you quantify the term, “used”? You said the relationship was eight years long. Were there any happy times?

[meyou1111888]

emotionally used. Mostly pain and upset 
how about you? what is your experience?

[meyou1111888]

Hello and welcome.

I have questions, such as how do you quantify the term, “used”? You said the relationship was eight years long. Were there any happy times?

Do you think relationships like that are fair on a single woman especially where a man is decades older, an established adulterer, in position of power? Even happy times are they truly happy times?

[meyou1111888]

I am looking for people who want share the same experience or their experience.

[Sandrine]

I am looking for people who want share the same experience or their experience.

I'm not in your situation as I am a MW and involved with a MM.     
You were involved for a long time, do you feel "used" or "exploited" because of promises he made to you?   Why did the relationship end?

[Harlow]

Do you think relationships like that are fair on a single woman especially where a man is decades older, an established adulterer, in position of power? Even happy times are they truly happy times?

My MM is 15.5 years older than me and was an “established adulterer”. I’m sure you’ve heard the expression, “All is fair in love and war”, and this is how love goes sometimes. Most of us get into these Rs not knowing how to proceed at all. A need arises and we stepped in to fulfill it for ourselves. If you didn’t get your way, then “it’s fair” to walk away. If you stay, well, that’s on you.

I react to the expression, “being used” because we all get something out of relationships, whether it’s attention, great sex, or whatever. If you both enjoyed the sex then you both gave and got something. IOW, you both used each other, so it’s equal.

I know it can hurt when one partner loves more than the other, but that pretty much happens in every relationship ever in the history of the universe, including Rs between spouses,
Mother and child, siblings, and so on.

What do you mean position of power, is he your boss? In that case tell HR. You both may lose your jobs but at least you’ll level the playing field, if that’s what you really want. But if you really love him, perhaps there is another way.